The days of Heroclix championships being dominated by mouth-breathing middle-aged men and genius preteens is officially at an end, as Realms Open Championship owner Brock Howie has figured out a way to make athleticism more of a factor in the popular tabletop game.
Previously, players could excel in the game of Heroclix by having better figures, dice or positioning than their opponents. Participants in this past weekends ROC National Championship, however, quickly discovered that those skillsets are no longer enough, as the unique format also tested skills typically only possessed by athletes such as stamina, endurance and mental fortitude.
In an exclusive interview with ClixHole, Howie admitted that after years of seeing his son bested in tournament finals by lesser individuals, he actually planned on each round of SWISS play taking 2.5 hours so he could crown a strong-willed National champion who was truly deserving of that title. As the agonizingly-slow event progressed, weaker-minded individuals dropped like flies. It became clear throughout the day who trained the hardest leading up to Nationals, and who was willing to put their time, dignity, relationship with their families, sanity and other factors on the line in the fight to win that super big first place prize that can buy you like, a case and a dice and token set or something.
At the end of the day, only one player remained standing – former champion Atom Fieldman.
When asked what about the Nationals structure proved to be beneficial to him, Fieldman admitted that “it was like this online Nationals was made” for him.
“I don’t really talk about this because I’m typically too busy talking about rules loopholes and intricacies, but when I’m not playing Heroclix, I’m actually a professional triathlete,” stated Fieldman in the post-tournament press conference. “I’m used to competing for hours on end, and putting extreme focus on a singular goal.”
During the meeting, Fieldman donned the bathrobe which has become his Heroclix uniform over the past decade. When reporters seemed to cast doubt on his claim of extreme athleticism and endurance, he opened his robe and revealed the rock-hard muscles he hid beneath it.
“I try hiding these babies so as not to intimidate the Heroclix-playing masses, but no regular shirts can really do that. A bathrobe is honestly the only thing thick enough,” he laughed while bouncing his toned pectorals.
Fieldman went on to explain that he first stumbled onto Ironman triathlons on accident because he thought they were Heroclix-related events, but stuck around after discovering the values of fresh air and exercise. Since then, he’s traveled the world as a competitor. His average time is around 11 hours and 25 minutes, so the fact that SWISS play took exactly that long to complete five rounds felt perfectly natural to him.